Filtered or unfiltered? No, I’m not talking about cigarettes. I’m talking about faces. My face, your face, the face on the cover of the latest fashion magazine. The face of the elderly woman on the bus. The face of the police person directing traffic. The face of the homeless person standing in line for warm soup. The face of the busy exec racing into his or her next meeting. So many faces.

Everywhere you turn you hear and see information advertising how easy it is to alter faces, to reduce lines and wrinkles, to remove those pesky age spots and in general how to look 20 again. Everyone today wants to know if your photo is filtered or unfiltered. Don’t get me wrong! I’d love to look 20 again. HOWEVER, I look the way I do today because of the life I’ve lived. When I look at the photo of myself on the left, I’m reminded that the crinkles (ok, wrinkles!) at the ends of my eyes are there whenever I see my husband, my sons, my daughters-in-law, my friends and certainly my wonderful grandchildren. They are present when I laugh or see a thing of beauty in nature. Those crinkles, when activated, go all the way to the center of my soul and I feel warm and wonderful when they are in play. The small downturned lines on the corners of my mouth bring back sad, bittersweet memories of a poor decision made by myself or a family member or friend. Those lines remind me of the passing of family and friends. Those lines remind me of the distaste I feel at many injustices in life. The place those downturn lines take me to is one of sadness, remorse, anger and sometimes fear.

There are many other experiences my face holds. It holds the experience I have built throughout the many years of my life. It has taught me wonderful lessons and other lessons that I wish I could forget. My face belongs to the rest of my body. When I pass a certain flower and a whiff of its heady scent seeps into my body, my face lights up with delight. Perhaps at the memory of an activity or person associated with that flower or just the sheer delight of what is offered by mother nature. When I see scenes of social injustice or discrimination my face turns down as tears roll softly down my cheeks. The downward wrinkles at the end of my mouth get deeper. My heart aches and I feel darkness surrounding me.

There’s the small scar on my chin I received at 8 years old. A scared young girl racing through the dark night to get to the safety of her father. A scared young girl who ran smack dab, full force into a steel pole and cracked her chin wide open. When I look at that scar I can feel the depths of that young girls fear of the darkness and the unknown. But I also feel the impression left by not heeding my father‘s advice which was to “slow down and watch where I was going”. That scar has reminded me to slow down, look at my fear, analyze what’s ahead, and take a path best suited to arrive at my destination intact and unharmed.

Don’t get me wrong. I love skincare and make up like no other woman on the face of the planet. I love it because it’s like painting a picture. Except the picture is me. I can be plain, unadorned me one day and be exotic and glamorous (or so I believe) me the next. Wearing the make up I’m still me – just a slightly different version of me. As soon as I wash the make up off I’m still me. No matter how much make up I wear my eyes will still crinkle, the wrinkles at the corner of my mouth will still go down. Makeup can’t change that. I can still find myself through the memories of the roadmap on my face.

The point is this. Some of us need a roadmap with bumps and wrinkles on it to find our way. Others don’t need that roadmap. Their roadmap might be smooth and unlined yet they will also know the way home to their heart. Embrace who you are, as you are, and don’t forget where your “stars and scars” are. And more importantly don’t forget how important it is to share those with others. I will celebrate with you as we crinkle and I’ll be there when our wrinkles turn downward. If you choose a roadmap that is smooth and unlined I will celebrate with you and be there for you when you tell me you need me. Either way, let’s learn to embrace ourselves no matter what our choices reflect. Filtered or unfiltered.  Stars and scars.