This year is not what I had planned.

I had planned a year full of training, races, travel, eating all the food with friends, and adventure. Along with some friends, I got one big race in at Walt Disney World in early January before the Covid-19 lockdown. What a fun time we had!!! I continued training hard for the Lavaman race planned for the first week of April in Hawaii on the Big Island. I was going with friends and we had so many fun plans organized around it. There would be three of us celebrating birthdays while we were there. All those plans were crushed by Covid-19.

I know I am not alone in having plans, trips and birthdays that have been interrupted by Covid-19. At the beginning of the Covid-19 lockdown, it was hard. So many disappointments. The loss of structure, goals, being with friends, adventure and races, along with the loss of being outside in my favorite spots. I was convinced I was not alone in feeling this way.

I decided I needed to grieve for what I lost, and I allowed myself time to wallow in that grief for a while. On occasion, I still find myself sad at what I am missing. It is so easy to focus on what we don’t have instead of what we have.

On one of my “pandemic walks” I remembered something Ian McKelvie, a professional career coach I was lucky enough to work with for several years, said, “It will be as bad as you make it.”  Just focusing on all that I was missing and not doing anything was only making it worse. How can I find some joy in the everyday? To regain my life, this was what I needed to focus on. I will always remember that walk. I saw my first hummingbird nest.  I love hummingbirds but had never I paid enough attention to them to actually see their nests.  I had walked the same loop in my subdivision hundreds of times during the early days of lockdown, but never really noticed so many things. In the subsequent days I found several more hummingbird nests. There were plants and flowers I had not noticed, and views I had missed because I was always looking and racing forward instead of pausing occasionally and looking at the view around me. I started feeling peace, something I had not felt in a long time.

I decidid that trying to do things like I was doing only brought disappointment since many of those things were now restricted due to Covid-19. I realized I not only needed to do those things I used to do when possible, but to also try some new things out as well. Certainly, I could find joy in new activities if I only tried.

Running along the beach is something that has always brought me joy and peace. I tried it several times after things started opening up a bit after the first lockdown. Too many people and too many without masks were on the beach and I felt anxiety not peace. I opted to run around my subdivision which is comprised of super steep hills. Unfortunately, I ended up hurting my hip flexor. Seven miles a day on hills is not smart? How could I do running in a way that was different that would still bring me joy but not hurt so much? A friend encouraged me to do trail running. I bought a new pair of trail running shoes and my friend met me at a trail only 15 minutes from my house. It is a 3.5 mile out and back and a pretty flat course. It was exactly what I needed!  There were far less people and the ones who were there mostly wear masks when they pass you. There is beautiful scenery, so much to see, even Osprey’s diving for fish in the lagoon! Such a simple change to find joy in running again.

I decided if I was going to ride my bike outside I would only ride my bike in my very favorite spot, a campground by the ocean. It is the place I have done all my long Ironman training rides. I literally have ridden over 5,000 miles in this campground broken up into 8 Mile loops. There are campers there but they are mostly on the beach and I ride up on the top of the bluffs, as there are not any large group of bikers now, and I feel really safe there. It gives me joy being there. I do miss riding with my friends and the grind of training, but I feel joy at being in this special place. While the campground was closed early in the lockdown, I am very thankful for just being able to ride there now.

Finding a way to bring swimming back into my life has been harder. While all the pools have been closed for so long and we couldn’t’t swim in the ocean, I decided to invest in a rowing machine. While I know not everyone can go purchase a piece of exercise equipment  and as I was not working out at Orange theory or yoga anymore, (both had paid memberships associated with them) I decided to put that money towards a Concept2 rowing machine. Rowing is totally different from swimming but similar in that it works similar muscles. It is an easy way to get a good workout. The ocean is finally back open to the public and I have enjoyed being back in the water swimming for the joy of it. I am enjoying every minute of being one with the water. Unfortunately, mother nature is being very 2020 in my area. The last 10 days we have had winter water temperatures of 57 degrees, in July! I decided there was no joy in that and since all my races are cancelled there was no need to keep experiencing the pain of that brain freeze?  I swam again last night in the same spot and the water was 61; still cool but comfortable once you get used to it.  I remembered that I my first full Ironman swim was in the exact same temperature water. If I could swim 2.4 miles then I surely could enjoy an hour in it. I am so glad I chose to give myself time to adjust. On the last lap around the buoys, the ocean swells came in. I had forgotten the joy of swimming in the swells. It gives me such a feeling of power and peace. I have to really concentrate on timing my stroke to the swell; it can be a bit hypnotic. I found more than I expected in that swim.

I am going to try a Stand-Up Paddle (SUP) board next. That has always been on my list of things to try. Maybe kayaking after that or prone paddle boarding.

I am taking some online courses on Reiki and one on Herbalism.  I am learning how to play my Chakra singing bowls……and am going out looking for rocks and crystals locally.

I have added about 25 solar lights to my backyard and planted more Milkweed for the Monarchs. I have 10 Monarchs flying around in my back garden right now. You cannot help but feel joy and peace when you watch them flutter around. It is a time of doing things differently and trying new things. If we keep trying to make 2020 like how we had planned, we will continue to grieve and be disappointed. I have grieved enough for all I have lost in 2020. I want to focus on finding the joy in the everyday every day, by being present and noticing the wondrous things around me and experiencing new things. It almost feels like the experience of having your corporate email inbox deleted by mistake – scary and freeing at the same time. Freedom lives on the other side of fear. Try different things; even scary things. The rest of 2020 will be as bad or good as you make it! Find joy in the everyday … every day!